“Make America Crab Island” Trucker Hat

Feeling the squeeze of democracy? Wishing your commute involved dodging hermit crabs instead of honking horns? This hat's for you!

The "Make America Crab Island" Trucker Hat is the official headwear of patriots of our beloved Crab Island. We can't promise a government shutdown replaced by an afternoon in the sun, but you'll definitely turn heads (and maybe confuse some seagulls).

Features:

• Classic mesh back for maximum airflow (perfect for drying off those piña colada mustaches).
• Bold lettering: Because subtlety is for politicians, not sandbar enthusiasts.
• Adjustable snapback closure: One size (almost) fits all, even heads swimming in indecision.

Who is this hat for?

• Beach bums with a political bent.
• Anyone who's ever dreamt of running on a platform of mandatory vacation days.
• People who believe jellyfish are the true underdogs of the animal kingdom.

Disclaimer: Wearing this hat does not guarantee citizenship of Crab Island. But hey, at least you'll look good daydreaming about it.